Breaking the Ice

It is Saturday night. I sit alone in my room "I hate weekends!" But there was no one in the room to answer. I pick-up a magazine and saw a picture of young people enjoying at the beach. I hurled the magazine against the wall. Tears well up. I clamped my teeth on my under lip but tears keep pushing. Unable to fihgt it any loger, i fell on my bed sobbing, "Why am I always left out?" Do you some times feel the sameway I do ? Cut off from the world,lonely, useless and empty? if so do not despair. Because feeling lonely is no feeling of fun, it is just like having a very fatal disease. Simply put loneliness as a warning signal. This warns you that you need companionship, closeness and intimacy. Sometimes loneliness is imposed to us by circumstances beyond our control, like being away from a very close friends as a result of moving to a new location. Back home, Rose and I were very close pals, closer than sisters. When our family moved away, i knew I'm really going to miss her. When the time has come for us to board on the bus, I got choked up. We hugged and said our last goodbye. I felt something very precious was gone. How did I make it out in ym new environment? It was really rough. Back home, my friends like me and care for me but here some folks I lived with, made me feel as if I were no good. I rember looking at he clock and counting back hours and thingking what Rose and I could be doing at this moment. I felt very lonely. When things are not going out well, I often dwell on better times that I had in the past. I always ask myself, "Why has it happened that thet the former days proved to be better than this?" Then I realized and promised to myself never ask such question again. Why? For one thing crcumstances are changed for the better. Then, i could thus overcome this loneliness. How? By talking about my feeling with someone who cares. I can't always live in the past. I forced myself to meet other people, smile at them and show interest on them. It worked! I found new friends and I become happy as I was before. But what about Rose? I was really wrong! Moving away did not end our friendship. The other day I phoned her and we talked for an hour and fifteen minutes. We need food to function well. Likewise we need companionship and friends to feel well. When you take one coal at a glowing heap the glow of that single coal slowly dies. But after you put the coal back into the glowing heap it glows again! In isolation, we similarly do not 'glow' well for long. The need of companionship, closeness and intimacy is built into our framework. We need them in order to "Break the Ice". The ice that separates us our happiness.